just a chat

 yo!! this is gonna be a long post since i wanna cover a couple different things, so buckle in! 

first i want to share some inspo i’ve had recently for incorporating into my style for winter

this came after a few things, i did a scene look a couple weeks ago just for the shits and giggles, then kinda fell down a rabbit hole 

a lot of people commented that i looked like kiki kannibal which is !!! major compliment 

so i was looking back at her old posts and found this photo of her eye make up

i LOVE it!! and i think with some tweaks to it along with the right base makeup could work for gal so i’m gonna give it a try, i definitely think circle lenses would be needed though for it to strictly read as gyaru, so i’m adding those to my list of winter essentials

i’ve been feeling pretty bummed out with my eyemakeup recently, i feel like my obvious droop really ages my face a lot, but since i don’t wear lenses i need that droop and dramatic lashes for the makeup to be balanced and read as gal

so i think experimenting and pulling inspo from different places like this will be really fun and help me figure out what eye shapes work for me better

not every look will be a success and look how i want which is a bit nerve wracking, but that’s all part of the progress. it has made me realise some things though 

which leads me onto talking about some things i’ve been feeling recently while on my gal journey

i’ve been feeling kind of.. walking on egg shells? idk how to explain it and i keep having to rewrite this post for it to come off the way i intend so please bare with me lol

i feel like because of the influx of misinformation, fighting and people who don’t wear gal labelling themselves gyaru on tiktok it’s created a lot of unspoken tension and people are really feeling fed up, which i definitelyyy relate to

people are understandably super protective over things like brand names and really trying to educate and enforce of guidelines which i don’t have an issue with at all, they’re there for a reason and i agree with them

but i think because everyone’s having to deal with this influx of people who just don’t understand and don’t even try to a lot of peoples patience is understandably just wearing thin and things are just a bit negative recently, and it’s a shame seeing so many people feel it guessing burnt out 

i’m kind of at the point of just not posting stuff to avoid stepping on peoples toes, i deleted the amekaji youtube haul video i was going to post because of all the discussions about “exposing” brands i just didn’t want to annoy anybody, but it also means i struggle to find more people who are into the brands and styles i enjoy

in general i just kind of feel an air of unwelcomingness which wasn’t there when i first popped up into wearing gyaru

it seems like everyone’s kind of split off into different communities of gals rather than a big community if that makes any sense, which is a real shame and i think the pandemic also played a part in that

idk, seeing how a lot of people talk about eachother behind the scenes and behind each others backs also really puts me off taking any creative liberties and trying new things since if anyone had an issue with it i just don’t think anyone would tell me, they’d instead just talk about it to someone else, make a shitty anon post or make an indirect comment 

its also what makes me nervous to step back into trying to be part of gal community spaces. i feel like i just don’t know at all who i can trust or who’s being honest which sucks

and i’m not talking about anyone in specific, and i’m not trying to rag on anybody or cause an argument. it’s just really been bothering me having all this hanging in the air and feeling like this w nobody to talk to about it

i LOVE my friends and acquaintances i’ve made in the gal community, and i know most people are genuinely lovely, im really not trying to just nitpick about the comm bc i know there’s so much good in it

i just can’t help but feel like that’d all flip on me if i tried out something different just for fun and it ended up not looking gal or taking inspiration from something not gyaru and putting it into a co*de.

this might just be me being all paranoid and overthinking it and everyone else feels totally fine, and it’s totally cool if that’s the case! i’m not expecting anyone to hype me up when they don’t like my style or to include me in things when i don’t make an effort to be involved, that’d be ridiculous. and i definitely don’t expect to be babied or welcomed with open arms to things

there’s no other way to explain it really than i just feel a lot of tension hanging around for some reason 

it could just be that since i started noticing this i’ve really withdrawn myself in general, so i could just not be seeing all the good I'm missing

i’d really really like to hear everyone’s thoughts on what they think about it and how the community’s changed over the past year, i’m still new and won’t ever deny that. so hearing some more experienced peoples opinions on it and how they feel would i think be really insightful and a good conversation, whether it’s in the comments or on any of my other socials i’m definitely up for hearing peoples thoughts on it

but obviously no ones obligated, this posts mainly just to get those feelings off my chest and out in the open lol

if you’ve read this far into the rambles, thank you!! i’ll write a separate post for the rest of my winter inspo since this turned out to be pretty long

let me know your thoughts and thank you for letting me get this off my shoulders! i really hope this came off as intended and not confrontational lol 

i tried to shake it off and just not care but it’s still bugging me, needed to put the thoughts somewhere 💜